“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell
I didn’t plan this – the life I have. It’s supposed to be different. For the last five years, I’ve felt confused and disappointed. I couldn’t believe that the challenges I met in life didn’t depend on my choices. It was a habit to think that my wrong decisions were the reasons of bad luck; it was a habit to feel guilty.
But what if it’s all nonsense, and there are no reasons? What if there is no explanation? What if it’s just a chain of random events that have nothing in common with destiny?
It’s too scary to admit that life could be out of our control. But it’s necessary to do it if you want NOT to exist – but to live. So what do you do when life doesn’t go as planned?
5 Things to remember when life doesn’t go as planned
1.) Life happens, and it isn’t always about us.
Whenever I look for words of comfort from the Web, I realize I wasn’t the only one. Lots of people are frightened or feel anxious. In worst cases, some folks would even shift the responsibility to something or someone else just so they can avoid blame.
No matter what we believe in, we still want the same things, such as acceptance. When life doesn’t go as planned, we can’t allow ourselves to wallow in self-pity or wait for windfall to come.
Who knows, maybe in the grand scheme of the universe, we had no purpose all along. So create your own mission! Life can happen – just because. Accept what you have for the moment and learn to appreciate it.
2.) Misfortune is common.
Sometimes, it seems that people around us have perfect lives.
One person buys a house with a backyard you’ve always dreamt of spending your weekends at, but you can’t—because you’re financially strapped. Someone else marries the love of their life, and you haven’t yet—due to unexpected or unfortunate circumstances.
Whether you believe in luck or not, misfortune happens all the time – often, even to good people. We can’t change that. It’s the world we live in. We deal with these things the best way we know how (either smiling or crying). But it’s the choices we make that are important.
3.) Change your heading.
You tried to stick to the route, but your devices broke down. You don’t know what’s next. Are you going to panic? No way! Let your fears go and discover. Life is so incredibly diverse that you’ll never get bored exploring it.
However, to truly enjoy it you need to adhere to one crucial condition – no questions. Stop asking yourself WHY life doesn’t go as planned. This question has no answer. If you want to make the most out of life, just continue.
Do not sit on the ruins of your dreams whining and pitying yourself. Use the resources you have to live the life that is happening right now.
4.) Maneuver, and then keep moving.
Life is movement. When something gets you stuck, it can feel exhausting. So deal with the problem that holds you back and take a new start.
Everyone has hidden, unfulfilled dreams because we may feel we’re not good enough, or because we think our efforts are futile. So we keep knocking on closed doors again and again; torturing ourselves but still somewhat hoping for the best.
5.) Stop wasting your life and do the things you want now.
Yes, your life doesn’t mean a lot to the Universe – but it does to you. You are the only person who really cares. So why on Earth do you keep wasting it? Turn around. There are many other doors.
You are the one who makes your life meaningful. When your life doesn’t go as planned, change your perspective but do not stop dreaming. Let yourself do things you’ve always postponed. Try yourself in art, sports, handicrafts, etc. Travel. Volunteer. Learn.
Do things you’ve always thought about doing but never had the chance to begin. There is no reason to wait. Life is happening right now. So leave the auditorium and go on stage — the performance can’t start without the lead.